Silver and Cold
by Bakani Banana
Summary: Song-fic dedicated to an OC and Inuyasha from my fanfic "Silver-Haired Beauty", set to A.F.I.'s song.


Disclaimer: I don't own Koinu or A.F.I., although much like a double dip ice cream cone, I enjoy them both equally. For the strangest reason, I'm having a song-fic spasm. For those few and far between who have enjoyed my other work, bear with me. It has to end someday.

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A/N: This is a short song-fic that's based on Kuroi's frame of mind during those fifty years she watched over Inuyasha while he was bound to the tree. If you have no clue what the hell I'm talking about, go read "Silver Haired Beauty". If you don't want to, fine. Hopefully, it will still be enjoyable without the background info.

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For those who care, I have decided to name the "Chicken Files" aliens! They will be……(drum roll)…… Ba and Ka!

Yeah, my creativity just packed up and left me.

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Ba: "Okay, let me see if I have this straight. That thing over there is a chicken?"

Ka: "Yes."

Ba: "The thing, right over there? With all the feathers, the beak, and is going 'cluck', is a chicken?"

Ka: "Yes."

Ba: "…"

Ka: "What is it now?"

Ba: "I don't get it."

Ka: "What don't you understand?! It's a chicken! A REAL chicken!!"

Ba: "No, I understand that."

Ka: "Then what is it?"

Ba: "Well, how does it make everything else taste like it does?"

Ka: "…go away…"

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****

I, I came here today …

I don't know how long I ran that first night after the pain drove me from the comfort of my bed. All I knew was the I had to find you and save you. In the dim recesses of my panicked mind, I only knew that you needed help, but I feared it would be a task greater than I could accomplish.

God help me, but I was right.

****

I left here in darkness and found you, found you on the way…

There had been blood on the ground everywhere. The smell of it hung heavily in the air, nearly choking me with its rusty tang. My heart quailed within me as I had silently pleaded, 'Don't let it be his.' As I searched the area, I felt hope stir faintly within me. If you were not out here, then perhaps you had found help.

Maybe my friend was okay.

The moon that night had been full and far larger than any I could ever remember, almost as if it wanted to aid me in my quest for you, my dearest Koinu. I tracked the blood to the best of my abilities in the mottled light that penetrated the dark canopy of the forest, remembering your smile when you used to tease me about being only human. Your human.

Your little flower.

"Please, let him be okay."

All prayers, all thoughts and hopes of any future that could ever contain happiness for me died when I parted the bushes before me. The grisly trail had ended there, but I no longer needed it. Hanging in the air like a broken toy, had been the other half of my soul.

"INUYASHA!!!"

****

And now it is silver and silent, it is silver and cold, you in somber resplendence I hold…

The arrow was driven in deeply, effectively pinning you to the tree. It always amazed me how such a slight woman could hold so much strength. A small part of me was thankful that you were not bleeding. Had not bled to death as a human would have, protected by the youkai blood that ran within your veins. Grateful though I was to the gods above me for that small gift, I cursed them loudly in unison with my vain attempts to pull that sliver of wood from your flesh.

It would not yield to a mere girl.

****

A mere girl who loved the being it held fast to the great tree with every fiber of her being. My tears fell thickly, blurring the night around me into a mass of dark, sparkling lights, but I didn't move my hands to wipe them away. Every finger was locked around that arrow, pulling with the sole purpose of freeing you.

It didn't budge an inch.

Still weeping, I felt a tingle run up the shaft towards me. Before I could let go, (not that I ever would have beloved), it slammed into my hands and seared the meat right down to the bone. The smell of the incinerated flesh sickened me, but it told me better than the accusing finger of heaven who the culprit was. I cradled the wounded flesh to my chest, howling into the night and cursing the one who had done this to you.

Kikyo.

****

Your sins into me - oh my beautiful one…

She had done this to you. To the one she'd claimed to love, and who I knew for a certainty returned that tender affection. Would it surprise you to learn that I sought her out, Koinu? That while wounded, I hunted for her, only to learn that she had perished the same night she imprisoned you here?

I was looking down at the ruins of my hands from my perch atop the battered roof of the village overlooking her pyre. I watched numbly as my muscles knitted and the skin started to reseal. It seemed that I would not know the satisfaction of vengeance that night.

It left a bitterness that time has yet to mask.

Using the graceful leaps you showed me Koinu, I went swiftly back to your side. I stood and walked over to you, looking up into your face. So still and peaceful, relaxed beyond the ability of anything natural. Touching your cheek lightly, I wept anew at the innocent beauty there.

"Almost as if you were only asleep. Oh Koinu, what has she done?"

****

Your sins into me -ah oh…

I have often wondered, did she do this out of jealousy?

When you first brought her to meet me, so proud of your budding love for one another, I accepted her gladly for your sake and for the fact that she eased your loneliness. That in itself made me happy to know her. It was with a heavy heart that I realized your beloved did not feel the same.

Did you know that she tried to kill me once? To drive away another who held a place in your heart, in your life? Were it not for the speed I was born with and you helped me to hone, I might have been held fast against another tree, just as you are. Only my rest would have not been so sweet.

She never tried it again, secure that I understood her warning.

I never said anything because I loved you, and your happiness meant more than my own life to me.

It still does.

****

As your rapturous voice escapes I will tremble in prayer, and I'll beg for forgiveness…

The arrow was beyond my pitiful means to remove. All of my earlier fears were confirmed and fused into a solid knot of sorrow. But even it's powers were not enough to drive me away. I stayed and pulled on it until the roaring blackness claimed me.

Even while falling to the earth in the cool arms of unconsciousness, I pleaded for your return to this waking world.

I begged not to be left alone.

****

Your sins into me - your sins into me, oh my beautiful one…

I have never once known sorrow since we met so long ago, Koinu. While we traveled the rough and tumbling road that any friendship must traverse, we learned of a common loss. Our mothers, who had left us alone and lost in this world.

Yours to death, and mine for reasons unknown.

A fond memory momentarily illuminates the descending darkness; your shy laughter when I first touched your ears. You told me later that no one had done that for you before.

In this unwilling sleep, I smile and I pray.

"Let me take his place…

Set him free…"

****

Life, like the flutter of wings…

The years have slowly slipped by without count, and still I come to sit by your side. The gods know me intimately by now, for I send a prayer to them nearly every minute of every day without fail. It never changes, did you know that? I pray for one thing; for them to bring you back to me.

It's winter now, deep and bitterly cold. I ignore the crispness of the season as I approach your resting place. This has become my duty to you, perhaps my only purpose to exist. Would you pity me if you could see me Koinu?

The part of you that remains with me holds pity enough for us both, but it will not stop me.

Another sun will set upon me in my task.

Wrapped against the icy chill, my hand grabs the arrow. As I have done on days before in numbers beyond counting, I do once again.

I pull.

****

Feel you hollow voice rushing, into me…

The light from the arrow is dull, but strong as the flare shoots into my body once more. Although I brace for it, I have never become accustomed to the way it seems to slam into me. The woolen gloves burst into flames, but the skin beneath has long since been transformed into a chary mass by the enchantment cast in purest betrayal.

No sound above a whimper leaves my throat, but inside of my soul, I scream. Do you know how this feels to me Inuyasha? Do you still share the bond we had? Is that why this slim, inanimate piece of wood works so hard to keep you bound here?

Is she still trying to keep you away from me?

****

As you're longing to say…

Sometimes, I imagine that it is fueled by the hate the miko bore me when she lived. As I fall down once more, cast into the familiar shadows awaiting behind my lids, my lips hold a bitter smile.

Did you fear me that much Kikyo?

****

So I, I will paint you in silver…

When I awake, night has fallen and I am cold, my limbs are stiff, like the ice that hangs from the branches overhead. You are never touched by the cold beloved. Even in the depths of the spell, the frosty hand of nature cannot touch you.

Moving closer to you, I curl up beneath your feet, wrapping a thin blanket around my shoulders with my healing hands.

****

I will wrap you in cold…

The snowfall is beautiful, but I don't see it. All I see is your face. So close, but kept from me by a sea of dreams. As the snow piles around me, I cry out again in my despair. In an attempt to stop it, I start to hum a wordless tune.

I don't know where the song arose from, but I would find myself singing it to you over and over as the years went by. It's the only thing I have to fill this silence where your laugh used to be.

The gods were probably surprised that day. My prayer had changed.

****

I will lift up your voices, and say…

"If I can just see his eyes, I will die in bliss unmeasured. Just let me see his eyes."

****

Your sins into me - oh my beautiful one…

"I will give you my life to see him smile again." My tears felt frozen against my cheeks, stinging the reddened skin. I do not care. I want to see you Koinu.

Lately, I have been plagued again by the one other thing we shared. That dreaded reminder that we looked to each other to help us not to feel. It makes my throat tight, my whisper hoarse and raw.

"I'm so lonely Koinu."

****

You sins into me - ah oh…

Eventually, I found myself traveling across the lands over the years, hunting as diligently for a means to free you as I had hunted to find you that night so long ago. When some faint rumor reaches me of power unimagined, or spell that can grant anything desired, I seek it out. Nothing has ever succeeded in stopping me from gaining the rarity.

Did you know that I have become a legend in your name beloved?

That I have fought men and beasts to save you?

That no matter how far I had gone, I returned to your side without fail?

****

As your rapturous voice escapes I will tremble in prayer, and I'll beg for forgiveness…

I will see you again Koinu, I promise.

****

Your sins into me - your sins into me…

Each time I come to you, it is with the hope that I have at last found a key to set you free.

****

Cold in life's throw - I fell asleep for you…

Each time I fail, I weep bitterly, determined that the next time will bring you to me.

****

Cold in life's throw - I only ask you turn around…

Because, I will never stop coming to see you.

****

Cold in life's throws - I fell asleep for you…

I will never stop trying to save you.

****

Cold in life's throw - I only ask you turn as you see into me, oh my beautiful one!

I will never stop hoping to look into your eyes once more, Koinu.

****

Your sins into me - oh my beautiful one…

Once, I saw a vision in white come to see you. I stood a distance away, amazed by it's grace and beauty. Scarlet danced along it's jaws and over the hand that curled tenderly beneath your chin. I could not still the pounding of my heart as it looked down into your face.

Would it free you?

****

Your sins into me -ah oh…

Could it bring you back to me?

****

As the rapturous voice escapes I will tremble in prayer, and I'll beg for forgiveness…

Those pale and beautiful hands strayed near the arrow. I did not breath once, in fear of breaking something beyond my understanding.

'Set him free.'

****

Your sins into me - your sins into me…

My hopes were dashed again when the flare from the aging wood sent the angel flying back to the ground. Only then did I understand.

****

Your sins into me - oh my beautiful one now…

My vision, your believed savior, was a youkai.

****

You sins into me -ah oh…

It left you without sparing a single glance behind it, as if it had dismissed you in light of its own glaring failure. Weaving drunkenly under the strain of my despair, I collapsed at your feet and wept anew.

For if a demon who wore the face of the heavens could not save you, what other hope could there be?

Even knowing this, I still came back to you over and over. At least you would never be alone Koinu. I will never leave you alone.

****

As your rapturous voice escapes I will tremble in prayer, and I'll beg for forgiveness…

The last time that I came to you, I found that you were gone. My mind froze as my world seemed to shatter beyond repair.

****

Your sins into me - your sins into…

I thought that you had died and left me behind beloved.

****

Your sins into me - your sins into me…

Distraught by all that I had suffered and the seeming unfairness of the gods, I almost joined you in death. The blade was pressed against my skin, ready to be driven into the yawning abyss that had become my heart.

I could feel a trickle of blood where the point had barely broken through. It was so cold against my heated skin. I craved that icy sensation, praying for the last time that it could finally numb the rest of my pain. That it could end my despair.

Do you know how close I came to death that day Koinu?

I would have died right then beloved. Since I met you, I have only wanted to be close to you. My life was complete, as long as you were with me. Food and drink were always only necessities to keep me alive, so that I could bask in the light of your friendship for another day. That night, my sun never rose again.

Kikyo had stolen your smile, and my world with it. My fingers, scarred from so much abuse over the years, closed tighter around the hilt of the blade.

After all these years, after all that I have done, so small a thing as death would not keep us apart.

The knife was set to complete it's grisly work, but something stopped me.

****

Oh my beautiful one…

A whisper, so soft that at first, I thought that I imagined it.

No, there it is again.

'Is that you Koinu?'

In the depths of my desiccated soul, something began to bloom.

Hope.

I hear it again.

A sound, like your voice calling out to me.

Calling out for me to find you.

'Koinu, please wait for me.

Don't leave me here.

I'm all alone.'

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Ka: "What on earth are you eating?"

Ba: "Nothing really. Why? Do you want some of this?"

Ka: "Maybe. What does it taste like?"

Ba: (grins): "Like chicken!"

Ka: "ARGH!"

}

I know. That was one long road down the unusual. I couldn't help it though! I love Kuroi so much, and I never really got to go into her years in my fic. She's such a special girl, I thought she deserved a one-shot with her in it. (She's got a whole fic, isn't that enough?)

Question: When you first kissed someone you loved, was that kiss enough?

Ba: Mistress Bakani Banana **is **the author!

Ka: And?

Ba: So she gets control, right?

Ka: Not over me she doesn't.

….eat this chicken.

Ka: No.

….I said, EAT this CHICKEN!

Ka: (glassy-eyed, eats the whole chicken.)

Ka: (wakes up) What happened to the chicken that was here?

Ba: Wouldn't you like to know?

Ka: There are feathers in my mouth.

Ba: I'm not saying a word.

kukukuku……


End file.
